One morning recently and I had fallen asleep unusually early from the exhaustion of the day and so I woke up at 3am and my mind started looping so many thoughts. One of the thoughts was about a conversation I had overheard the day before. I had been at the car wash and I overheard two women talking, they were talking about a mom they must have both known. One women says to the other " it just isn't natural for her I guess, mothering." Obviously, I know nothing about what they are talking about or the circumstances and that is all I heard so I can't judge really in any way. But, something about that sentence literally stopped me listening and my thoughts started going in a million directions. I felt something well up inside of me- MOTHERING- NATURAL do those two words go together?!? Natural for who?!?! Is it really natural for any of us... Aren't we all just doing the best we know how based on our own stories, life circumstances, personal strengths and challenges. There have been so many days I have gone to bed at night wondering if I could have handled the hard situation better or I think yep, today is the day they will mention in counseling when they are older (don't worry we are saving for counseling and college😉) and then there are some days I think maybe just maybe I have this whole thing figured out and then bam, something changes. This ever evolving, ever changing thing that has so humbled me, natural?!? It is growing me and challenging me, and changing me as a person and I am loving that, but nothing about it feels natural to me. Am I alone in this feeling?!
With the approach of Mother's Day I started thinking about the moms I know and interact with on a daily/weekly basis others not always because of distance etc. However, they all in some way have inspired me, moved me or challenged me to be more of my truest self. They have been kind when my "natural" response was a super sucky one. They have mothered me in a way simply by just being who they are. Not intentionally, but by observing or doing life along side them I have felt carried. Not one of them alone would stand and claim to be a perfect mother or have it all together, in fact so far from it and I love them for that. They have been honest and vulnerable with me in the shortcomings and victories and getting to witness that is a beautiful thing. All of them collectively have shown up in strength and wisdom and all sorts of inspiration in my life. They aren't famous or being written about or even out impacting millions of people..nor are they trying to. They are just trying to do them and live life and love their families well. Because of that they are impacting me, and their families and their children and by simply being who they are, probably impacting more people than they even realize.
I wanted them to know how they have impacted me and how grateful I am for their presence and vulnerability and advice and compassion and love in my life. So I sent each of them a text over the course of this week leading up to Mother's Day and asked them if I could share the text I sent to give you a small glimpse of who these ordinary, extraordinary women are. Of course the types of mothers in this world are countless and the things they do is expansive but these women are my mothers and this is how they have been with me on my journey this far. Who are yours?!?!
These are mine:
With their permission I asked if I could share. I started each text the same...
With Mother's Day approaching I have been doing a lot of thinking about the Mom's in my life who inspire me I wanted you to know how you have impacted me!
Diana-
Mom, I say so often to my children "I love you no matter what!" I can say that fully and wholeheartedly and know the gift that is to them because that is what you have done for me. In my hardest and darkest and most joyous and happy times in my life you have without a doubt loved me no matter what!
Caron-
The gift of loving my husband, your son, for exactly who he is and allowing him to be his truest self with you. From the very beginning and even now for continuing to ask him who he is and discovering him and loving him versus telling him who he is, is a precious gift to us both and something I have watched and will do my best to gift to my own children.
Catie-
Your intentionality with your boys inspires me and your endurance to keep seeking to hear and understand them in the moments when it would just be easier to move quickly past the circumstance moves me to be in the moment with my children and seek to listen and understand more and "tell" less.
Sarah-
Your go with the flow, laid back attitude in allowing your kids to be kids has taught me to let go a little. Even when you guys are walking through hard times as adults your boys just get to be kids and there is such a light hearted joy about them because of that!
Rachel-
Your vulnerability and honesty in parenting is refreshing. Hearing you say you apologized to your daughter, now that she is an adult, for mistakes you made early on and your humbleness has taught me that it isn't about getting it right or perfect but being honest and humble in the journey and seeking to love yourself and your children well through that journey. What a gift to your kids to get to witness that firsthand!
Joy-
I know you didn't have the mom you needed and hoped she could have been to you and I know that is so hard and painful and I know the fear is real as you bring this precious new baby boy into the world! But, I can tell you the work you have done on yourself and the care and love you have already have for your baby before he has even entered the world is breathtaking. You are already and amazing mom!
Lindsey-
I have watched you in the most chaotic and stressful moments have this calm about you and communicate with your children in such a peaceful state even when they are losing it and I am just in awe of that. It is absolutely inspiring to watch and everytime I see you do it, it reminds me to keep working at it.
Sarah-
You will always me a mom of two and your honesty in the unimaginable pain of losing your baby boy and then such a juxtaposition of the joy in raising your precious daughter makes me awestuck. Your vulnerability in being able to share the emotions and go through grief and yet share and be so present and available and loving with your daughter is something to behold. Allowing yourself to feel ALL the emotions and getting to be witness to that has taught me so much!
Leah-
Your continued effort to grown in who you are as a person and evolve and the way you have taken your kids on that journey alongside you in the last couple years has given me incredible relief to the panic that I need to have it all figured out, that I need to know exactly who I am and instead be in the constant ever evolving process and teach my kids along the way.
Rebecca-
Watching you tell your own truth no matter what and continually trying to find tools to improve the quality of life for your family and as of recently knowing the next right step for your family was to pick up and move across the country! Knowing there was risk involved but trusting that it was the next right step and following your dream and embracing the adventure to be in a new place has been so fun to watch. To go knowing it wouldn't all be easy, and may be hard in moments and sad for you and the people you were leaving behind but the bravery in going and following a dream and doing the hard thing because you knew it was the right thing for you guys is so cool to witness and has taught me so much just from watching at a distance... more that you probably realize!
Franki-
I have loved our time and conversations and I feel like we could talk for hours and hours and we usually do! But, every time I leave refreshed and having learned something I never knew before! You are a wealth of knowledge and inspiration to me and I never feel judged! I know that your journey to motherhood has been a rough rough road and I know that what Mother's Day means today is so joyful but so different then it was years ago and I am so thrilled to celebrate that with you. Your heart and outspoken love to women who you know are still waiting is so touching. I am grateful to bear witness to your amazing love for your children. Your whatever it takes attitude in loving and providing a life where they can truly flourish and right along side that your heart for women who desperately want to be called "mom".
Corinne-
So many days I think of you when I am having a tough day and I think of the amazing capacity you have to do it all as a single mom, business owner, sister, friend, daughter, aunt, boss and it all falls on your shoulders and so many people count on you and while you are literally doing it ALL you are still so intentional, loving and constantly growing and evolving. Your energy astounds me! To me you are my vision of the fiercest warrior mama!
Debbie-
I know you are not a mom yourself.... But the way you have counseled me and taught me and challenged me and often times saw better in me than I even saw in myself. You are teaching me to look inward, dig deeper, and connect with myself in ways I never thought possible. To get to know and love myself has been a gift to me, my kids, and my husband and has given me a drive and passion to be ever evolving and connected to my emotions like never before. You may have been counseling me, mothering me, whatever you want to call it but I would not be where I am today with out your guidance and nurture for my soul!
Kristin-
I tell people all the time how much I admire you as a mom and as a woman and so often think how incredible it would be if we didn't live at opposite ends of the country. But, I love watching you mother even from a distance and because of you have found freedom to seek to better understand my deepest self in order to be a more connected mom. Your highly sensitive nature, the thing you felt held you back as a younger person, yet now have a greater understanding of it, is truly your super power as a mom. I love that you make choices for your family and yourself because they are best for you guys and are often contrary to the rest of the worlds ideas. I have sometimes felt isolated in making decisions that go against the norm and watching you has given me strength to go against the grain.
Britni-
Something Jon and I say to the kids and each other is that there is enough room in this family for everyones dreams! I think watching you be an amazing mom and and so powerful in business is where that belief came from! I know that there is constant struggle in balancing the two and a give and take on a daily basis and I know it is not easy but I know that this has always been a dream for you! I love that your family has made space for your dream! The lesson you are teaching your babies to make space in this world for the people they care about is priceless. You inspire me to work to achieve the exact life I desire, whatever that may be for whatever season that may be!
Sonja-
You are such a fun mom and when I am around you in allows me to lessen the control freak nature in me and reminds me to be more fun! Recently when I called you in a panic your first words to me were "you are an amazing mom and this is no reflection on you as a mom" I mean seriously, what an amazing generous gift! You have no idea what that meant and how that made me feel!
Laura-
I am so excited to get to be a small part of your big journey toward motherhood and talking and laughing and sharing worries and excitement for all that motherhood has in store for you has reminded me of the precious time when my babies were small and I loved so much and I wanted to cherish every thing in the moment, yet, I was tired and just surviving. Getting to go back and remember and talk about that time with you as you prepare for that has given me the opportunity to cherish those moments all over again in a whole new way. You are going to be an amazing mom and I can't wait to meet your sweet baby girl!
Thank you to these women and so many others who have moved me, inspired me, and kept me moving forward!
Happiest of Mother's Days to you all!
Much Love,
Lauren
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
