Hero

We have had a wonderful June full of vacation, our 8th wedding anniversary, and JD's 3rd birthday! I will catch up on all those posts, eventually.

We also had a sad sad day when we lost our sweet dog Hero.

Tears our pouring down my face as I write this. If you  have a dog you know how much they become a part of your family and our house feels really empty without him.

He started out as Jon's dog! Just him and Jon. Jon actually rescued him from a shelter just in time.  I truly believe in so many ways Hero rescued Jon. Jon and Hero faced some of Jon's darkest days together and Hero was a faithful and loyal friend. He was there licking Jon's tears and listening intently. You know the way, with their head cocked sideways and ears perked, hanging on every word!

When Jon and I got married, I totally cramped Hero's style. He suddenly had to sleep on the floor on a dog bed instead of in bed with Jon. He took a while to come around and forgive me.
I used to tell him to do something or call him and he would just stare at me with that look like who do you think you are?!?! He eventually decided I was here to stay and truly became our family dog.

Hero was the first to greet our babies when they came home from the hospital. I will admit when Taylor was born I had huge anxiety all the way home about how he would react to the new baby. He jumped up on our bed gave her one good sniff and that was that. They were instant friends! He used to sit by her pack in play when she was a newborn and alert me to every noise she made.

When JD came home we had given him 14 months to get used to babies being around so when JD came home Hero just gave him one solid wet lick on his newborn head. I guess that sealed the deal. They were buds from that point on. Plus, he finally figured out by now that babies drop tons of food all over the floor, so he decided they weren't so bad after all.

Hero really did have a full full life and he was up to his regular sandwich stealing antics right up to a couple weeks ago.

I will miss his million nudges a day to go in and out the back door and he always seemed to be laying right in your path where we would always trip over him.  I will miss the way he would sit at the top of he stairs waiting for Jon to get home. He would sleep there all night if Jon was out of town protecting me and the kids. He was so loyal. He made me feel safe.

It is hard to say out loud and admit but we did feel like we failed him the last few years. We were so wrapped up in the kids we took him for granted. Our hearts are heavier because of this.

Hero developed bone cancer and it was deteriorating  his spine causing him to no longer walk and causing him to be in tons of pain. Jon pretty much carried him everywhere the last week of his life. Once we realized how bad off he was and how much he was hurting we felt the best thing for him was to let him go. It was the hardest decision and we still feel unsure about it. Of course we wanted Hero to be with us as long as possible but we also loved him so much and never wanted him to experience so much pain. It feels gut wrenching because as animals they have no say. You make every decision for them and they can't tell you how they are feeling.

Taylor walked in from a nap in the midst of us having to make a horrible decision and we were pretty wrecked. We talked the kids through what was happening. Taylor being four totally grasped it right away and was pretty devastated. She made him a sweet picture of our family which of course included both Hero and JR ( our Jack Russell Terrier) and laid it on  his paws telling him how much she loved him and what a sweet boy he was. A couple times throughout the day she would warn us saying "I think I am going to get really sad again".  We talked lots about how it's ok to be sad and it just means we loved Hero so much. We told her we could reminisce about funny stories and mischievous things Hero did whenever we missed him. She clarified before she went to bed that "Hero won't be here in the morning ever again,  right mom??" We assured her his back wasn't hurting anymore and that made her feel better.

JD did not understand until we got to the car and Hero wasn't with us. JD kissed him lots and told him goodbye at the vet so we thought he got it. But, we got in the car and Jon came back without Hero he sobbed the whole way home because Hero wasn't with him and he needed to give him more kisses.

JR our little Jack Russell is a lost little soul. He spent the first couple days looking for Hero. They were a mismatched couple but they were best buddies. JR has never known life without Hero and we are just hoping he is ok. For now he is sticking really close to us. Pretty much following us everywhere.

This experience has been such a  heartache and I am so thankful we have our  little family to love on each other as we go through this. I keep thinking it will start to feel normal at some point. But, even this morning quite a few days later our house feels off. Eerily quiet. It makes me sad.

We are going to miss our big red dog, our grumpy old man, our rut row. So glad we loved him and he loved us!

Thank you God for teaching us things we could have only experienced through our loyal, faithful, furry friend.

Much Puppy Love